Friday, October 16, 2009

Bits and Pieces!!

In each blink, everything appears just the same. Is it same or it just appears to be so? Hollow. Empty. The world around me looks nothing more than that. I wonder! has the emptiness around has sucked me in or is it just the other way round? I touch the walls of my room and of my heart. Black soot smears my palm. Mirror. Is not it all broken? I can see the reflection very clearly. Which one is true... ‘I’ in the mirror, broken from every perspective or ‘I’ standing in front of it, all intact?

It’s not the first time that I have lost myself but when was the last time I was lost so much so that I could never find my way back to me ever again? It feels so strange whether I turn back or look ahead. I am a stranger anyways. Last night it was raining and I happened to enslave few rain drops on my palm. I played with them for a while and suddenly I reflected there in too. I could not recognize myself. I freed the rain drops instantly.

Connection. I have lost all my inner connections with everything possible. I can’t connect to anything but you. But all the chords that lead to you are broken now. I tore them apart. Every single of them. Detached, I feel numb. Uncomfortably numb. But hey! do you still feel connected to me even when the chords are no more there? On a bigger note, were there ever any chord? Did we ever required any? I guess we did not. I guess we do not. And I guess we would never.

May be it is time to tear my own self apart into zillions of pieces. O! I can do that, any moment. It’s not tough you know. It’s kinda easier than living numb. But what stops me from doing it you know are the doubts that will you ever come to collect the broken pieces of me? Piece by piece will you ever stitch me up? With each stitch will you ever instil in me my true essence back? And once stitched will I ever be the one whom I have lost somewhere in the rush of emptiness?

Re-invention is what I seek about me...by you...for us.

19 comments:

  1. Hi Preetilata,

    welcome back..where have u been these days??

    any ways ..its a good post altogether..u have narrated ur emotions very neatly yet straightlyy..

    Good work..

    Nothing can last forever..so as everything..dont worrryy..find urslef coming back to U...

    I wish u my best wishes ..

    Take care gal..

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  2. welcome back dear preetz :)..

    everyone loose their ownself at a particular time but the thing is standing and taking the change....i know its hard but we can reinvent ourself and its not hard...just relax preeti dear everything will fall back normal just take care dear ...see ya soon..have a nice day and a gr8 weekend :)..

    urs..hemu..

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  3. Gosh, sweetheart, I could feel the pain myself reading this. each word just hits hard and I want to cry when i read them... there is some memory behind every word, some pain in every sentence, it just hurts too much altogether...

    I hope you are fine, dear... take good care..

    love and hugs :)

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  4. You well dropped your emotions here like the rain drops. Sometime we feel being nothing, but the same thing is a great relief from everything. I hope u feel very good soon… btw. Wish you a Happy Deepavali dear :)

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  5. I wish i could hug you and soothe your heart
    I wish i could kiss away the pain..
    I read your post in a single breath and it gave me shivers.
    Love you tweenu..Do take good care...
    Love u a lot..
    Hugss!

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  6. Pree, my dear...

    ...you seem so down, sad and quite disappointed with how things are going in your life lately...

    what happened sissy? in our last chat a couple of days back, i could feel that hurt feeling in you when you said you wanna stop blogging already...but here, you're back, yet...i guess, not in good shape...

    well, you've poured out your heartaches and hope this will do some magic...

    don't give up babe...

    life is beautiful, okay?

    miss yah gurl...

    love you....:)

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  7. y so down???

    i hope penning down thought would've helped you ease up a bit :)
    :)

    cheer up, this will pass too :):)

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  8. OKieee !!! itni raat jagogi toh aise hi dimag ka dahi banta hai :D

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  9. hello dost :)

    belated wishes for diwali and newyear...

    how ru?? hope everything is fine ....

    Take Care
    Vikas{V}

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  10. Hellos .. m back :) I felt connected to these words .. dunno why ... re-invention ! interesting word !! :)

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  11. hey i hope you are alright..suddenly there are so many blog pals going through a phase..good or bad i dont know..optimist that i am..i feel all happens for good

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  12. nyc one on peeking within to find a renewed self
    happy bloging :)

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  13. :) interesting.

    Do drop by mine too.

    Happy Blogging!

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    Help, please. All recommend this program to effectively advertise on the Internet, this is the best program!

    ReplyDelete
  15. keeping all the concerns above aside, this one is rocking to the core, if I take into account the content, the write up and the continuity it reflects in it's sombre mood.

    True, I don't really always admire this kind of writings, but this time the haunting and hiding monologue swept me off my mind. Ths is tht good.

    Keep writing. :)

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plz.. open d white window :)