Monday, December 31, 2012

Nirbhaya



She died at last and along with her a part of me has died too.

It could have been Me. It's just that I was plain luckier and she was not. Once, I too along with my boy-friend was surrounded by such uncouth men in a bus which took us to the reputed Jaypee Institute located in the heart of Noida. We only suffered an act of pick-pocketing and a violent push from behind when we were about to step down. If not, it could have been Me. I am sacred and sad and terrified beyond words. I can’t thank my stars enough. But that doesn't make me feel any better. That does not does not make me to wipe my tears and count my blessings.

Not to mention how we girls get assaulted every single fucking day that it has become such an integral part of our lives and hence has stopped bothering us. We have accepted it as a part of our daily life. Just the way we are unaffected by the change of days to evenings and finally to nights, we are impassive to the assaults we go through. So much so we don’t even bother to tell our family and friends about it until and unless it is not a li'l more than the regular things. Yes! eve-teasing, molestation, getting raped through those bastards’ lustful eyes, ugly/vulgar remarks, and lewd comments have become a regular and a very normal thing for/to us.

I have stopped boarding buses long back. But I could never tell my parents that how actually the men molest us there. They do it not only by touching us here and there and by passing comments, but also by masturbating then and there right inside the bus. I have suffered it myself many a times. It had always made me feel disgusted, used, like an object, dirty, and many more such things for which I am finding hard to express. But on the face of that man I have always seen a SMIRK that marks his filthy satisfaction. Satisfaction of trampling and objectifying one more girl. Satisfaction of being the Powerful and THE REAL MAN. I, on the other hand, like many other girls, had shed silent tears and had left the bus. Later on I learned to shout and yes had made it a habit to always carry a pin with me. But since the time I started earning; I, over being subjected to such filthy acts preferred not to travel by bus anymore. I stopped. Many more girls stopped. Majority of us remain silent. But they- the REAL MEN continued forever. Passing the baton from generation to generation.

Nevertheless Safety, Respect, Freedom still elude me. While I left travelling via bus for good, in Auto, I am never sure about whether he will ever take the right rout or not. A recent episode where the Autowala was so keen to drop me someplace else all in the pretext that it would be nearer to my place and by that I won’t have to walk that extra 5-10 min or so. He even dared to turn towards the other side and stopped only after I gave him my solid piece of mind. “Madamji aap to vishwas hi nahi karti ho.” was his gory reply. It left me baffled and induced in me the habit of being extra vigilant of the routes from now. On the other hand while I walk on the roads, I am unsure of which path would be the safest one to tread upon. I have been verbally abused by men even on so called safe roads too. Don't ever think that Residential roads are safe and sound. These Real Men become Animals not only in shady areas and at nights only. Don’t forget there’s no place for a Woman. Their barbarism knows no end be it Anywhere, Anytime, Anyways. Else there would have never been any act where a girl- be it an old, grown-up, child or even a baby is raped in places like office, school and colleges and not-to-mention inside the four walls of her own HOME- the safest place in the whole world.

Like my own shadow, Rape and Assault and Barbarism follow me everywhere. He takes it as his birthright and I take it as one of the many normal things that take place in my day-to-day life. And no I am not complaining about it, neither protesting nor am I affected by it. Not anymore. But I did once and for that the society snapped ME back. So Not anymore. Not anymore. And why to? Isn't it as natural to me as breathing is?


Image courtesy: Cartoonist Satish Acharya. 

16 comments:

  1. Wish our men’s attitudes change... feeling shame to falling under the same gender. I feel very sorry for the unsafe situation for women in our country. Wish the situations turn better in years ahead and manhood leans to respect women.

    btw. my best wishes for you preeti.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Jeevan,

      I so hope that the society changes it's attitude towards women. But this is again a truth that there are men who do love, respect, and protects the women. I wish their number increases manifold and outshines those barbarians soon.

      Thanks for the wishes. My best wishes are there with you always too.

      Delete
  2. Its a very painful read Preeti. Is that because Delhi is called the rape capital, her betis are left astray? I hope the situation really changes for better. I hope our friends, boy friends, brothers and their acquaintances learn to respect her.

    Do visit my blog! Would love to see you by! *cheers*

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  3. Just too sad to say anything. But hope remains.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i can understand re. yes HOPE still remains.

      Delete
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    ReplyDelete
  5. Reading your blog, I'm frightened to travel alone without my wife. I might be accused of some girl for something like looking at her...

    Well, I understand the fear of girls and women... But...

    Are all men evil? Are all women good?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Tomichan,

      The post was not meant to generalize men but to express how certain men are like whom we encounter in our everyday life. And how society does nothing to stop them rather asks the girls to stay inside, behave properly, and to ignore such acts by them. And as a result how an act of 'cher-khani' is no big a deal.

      and just as not all men are evil, all women are not good too.

      and if you check my reply to Jeevan you will find that i dont think all men are evil ever.

      Delete
  6. Nothing is going to change in India until the mindset of the people changes...

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    Replies
    1. That's what Farida. The mindset of the people needs to change. How we behave and believe is all due to mindset.

      Thanks for your visit.

      Delete
  7. Unbelievingly at the end of it all, there are people who are fighting for the rights and sympathy for the monsters. Talking of mindset, would you believe that some people believe that female feticide should be legalised ? They think stopping female feticide is nothing but moral policing. Take a look here if you don't believe your eyes. http://www.bhagwad.com/blog/2012/philosophy/abortion-do-you-value-the-life-of-a-human-above-that-of-an-animal.html/#comment-15721

    ReplyDelete
  8. The first and the last cartoon by Satish is so apt.

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  9. yet again am sad reading this. The helplessness attacks me and eats me up like cancer :(
    U hav put in apt words preeti

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  10. This post filled me with anger and sadness.

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plz.. open d white window :)