Tuesday, April 9, 2013

How a li'l closure goes a long way!

Okay, why don’t you just scroll through your contact list and see if there’s any contact number that’s completely useless and yet is gracing your list? Is there any? So, what do you now decide to do with it and why? Delete? No? Why? Is it only because you think that you might need it sometime in future? Okay, I believe there must be other reasons too. Isn't it? I want to know the reasons? Mind telling me? Please? 

Though I keep pruning my contact lists from time to time, there are certain numbers that I have never thought of deleting even when I thoroughly know that I am not going to talk to that person ever again. It’s tough to bring myself to delete any of them. Because you just never know. 

Is it because deleting a contact number symbolizes the very act of ‘moving on’? Does that mean the particular person affects our life no more and that their existence has got nothing to do with our life anymore? Perhaps. And is it also because we are afraid to accept the truth? Perhaps again. Or is it just to run away from the reality as we say ignorance is the bliss. Or else ‘Out of sight hence out of mind’ kind of state? Is it our attempt to wipe that person out and gradually erase the associated memories forever? 

Circumstances changed. You changed. I changed. And everything between us changed. There were no more promises left and all the dreams have died too. What did not change was my inability to accept the change. I kept myself tied to the memories and dragged them with me. I could not get the closure on you because everything in my view ended suddenly and abruptly. For me it was still unfinished. To be very honest I was tired of myself and of this continues act of lingering on the memories. Note, it was not that the memories were lingering on me but the opposite. 

30th Jan, the day you left Delhi just like that, I realized, it’s too much now. It was heady concoction of mixed feelings which had strong elements of anger, sorrows, and disappointments along with few drops of hatred as well. How could you just leave, leaving everything behind? Then with uncontrollable tears in my eyes and out of control heartbeats, I just deleted you from my lists be it FB, Phone Address book, or Watsapp. I deleted every single message of yours in no time. I did all this in such a lightning speed that there was no time left for my heart ponder over and my mind to think on. Else I might not have been able to do this ever. 

How bizarre our lives have become that it has got confined within the walls of our phones. Sigh! 

Call me a Moron or whatever you like but somehow this Moving On would not have been possible had I not deleted you out of my lists. 

But, isn't it true too what Robin Scherbatsky says, what about that? 

"You can't delete contacts from your brain, Lily."

~Inspired from,
How I Met Your Mother
Season 6
Title:  Unfinished
Original Airdate: October 4, 2010

There are many instances where i could relate my life to TV Serials, movies, songs, and books. This post has been written in my mind the day I watched the re-run of this episode. To read my other posts where again I have found the inspiration in TV serials click here.


  1. i guess its more to do with "i know i would not need this in future but somehow i do not want to forget the past. your name in here brings a smile or a tear - it brings memories that I would cherish re living".

    and why would anyone call you moron, memories in any form makes it hard to move on. in fact i dont know if some one could really move on. its just that we hide our past like we do with our old gifts. Unless there is a moment i our life that we re discover these hidden memories, we say we moved on! its hide n seek!

  2. I so agree with you Preeti but that last quote is ever so true! I have this number in my mind - I talked to that person last in 2008 and even now I cannot forget it - even though its deleted from everywhere long ago.

    Sometimes while reminiscing the past, I try to remember that number - just to check if I still remember it and alas! I do! As much as I hate myself for it, I really don't know how to delete it from my memory. I feel helpless.

    Sometimes I wish I could erase some memories, some people from life coz thinking of them brings nothing but pain. But sometimes I also wonder that those incidents - good or bad - are the ones which made me who I am today. I don't know whether to thank the memories or fret about them.

    Neverthless, they are there and they will be there forever - no matter what. So I have just left them as they are.

  3. how that last line sums up almost everything.. !

  4. So true the last line , but don't let them control your mind.

  5. It's true that the act of deleting the person's impressions on your life in the form of emails, Facebook page and texts helps, both symbolically as well as literally, because you remove any reminder of their existence...except that which you retain in your memory.

  6. All along, I was imagining Adele singing "SOmeone like you" - I could sense the pain, the longing, the wrath...Good going Ms.Sarkar :-) Cheers, Laxmi.

  7. aaghhh !

    Touched Preeti !
    I tried a lot and actually deleted few but can never resist thinking abt them more coz I deleted them
    HUMAN is indeed a complex creature :(

  8. Time manages to erode memory like no one else. But yes, we need to take that first step, as you rightly pointed out. Even if it breaks us into a million pieces.

    A very thought provoking post.

  9. Closure helps .. oh yes it helps !
    I always remember that scene from JAb we met when Kareena Kapoor asks Shahid Kapoor to burn and flush down the drain the pic of his ex girlfriend :P

  10. We certainly re live the moments spent together. Its all the chemical Locha of the brain :)

  11. I agree. It happens a lot of time that we have contacts that we may not talk or communicate but it is very hard to delete them forever.

    I have changed cities and I wasn't sure if some those nos incl few plumbers, shud I be keeping in my phone book. NO matter how many I delete, some continue to remain there. Loved your topic!


  12. While we can delete the physical signs of a person's presence, the emotional or the mental image remains for a long time.

  13. Very true Preeti! I too have little number in my phone that haven’t dialed or received calls for long time… but I don’t know why I still hold it without a mind to erase. I have number of message stored in my mobile inbox, which stayed on the same way, because I receive from them rarely.

    Agree with Robin!

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  15. The quote at the end sums it all up.
    I can't help but remember the episode of Friends in which Rachel is looking for closure after a break-up with Ross. It is a must-watch episode and I am sure you'll learn a thing or two from it. :)


  16. Lovely post Preeti and I am also a huge "Friends" fan and would recommend you to watch that episode :) hugs to you girl !

  17. The last quote sums it all up. :)

  18. Yes. Getting it out of the head is tough. But getting it out of the list is a start. :-)

    Enjoyed the post, Preetilata!

  19. I think we all have one such number that is hard to erase from our brain. Wonderful post.

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  21. Memories never die and never get erased from our hearts and minds but removing their presence physically from our lives is a step towards trying to move on and forgetting them. One never succeeds, some faces are imprinted on our souls for life.

  22. great post.
    isn't it funny how these significant and symbolic can change things ;)


  23. I could so relate to this, Pree. I have deleted and reconnected...sometimes only to delete again. Memories always live on in our hearts and minds, but how we choose to remember is what counts.

  24. Oh my God Preeti! This is so relevant to me.. cannot even begin to tell you..As saif says, "tu meri har baat kaise jaan leti hai jaaneman?" I loved..loved ..loved this post!

    btw: That episode is so hilarious! I am such a big fan of HIMYM!! :)

  25. Always these small things that are most painful but most imp!


plz.. open d white window :)