Tuesday, September 17, 2013

वक़्त बह चला

चाहा तो था की पन्ने भर दूँगी
शब्दो को पिरो के जाल बुन दूँगी
इन गहराइयों में समंदर है
या कोई खाई- समेट कर इन्हे मुट्ठी में भर लूँगी

सन्नाटो के परतो पे सतरंगी संसार बसे  है 
सीपियो और सहेलियो में 
अंतर तो कुछ भी नही
क्या सोचा था और क्या जोड़ती चली गई
शब्दों के मायने वक़्त ले चला बहा 

अहसास आज कुछ इस तरह से उमड़े है
काग़ज़ो के साँचे में ढलना गवारा नही
खामोशियो की ज़ुबानी
भूले बिसरे ही सही
दिल तक झीनी झीनी सी दस्तक
पहुचाती  तो होगी

And so like this, footloose emotions and far from organized thoughts tangle forever with words. Not always they mean something. But at sudden burst of moments they mean the world to me.  And so like this, today, with random and free-flowing juxtaposition of words, MyWhiteWindow celebrates her glorious sixth anniversary.  

Thank you for being an integral part of my journey. Without you all, it would not have been this much memorable and worthwhile.


Word of the Day is: 
Kintsukuroi: (Japanese) "to repair with gold"; the art of repairing pottery with gold or silver lacquer and understanding that the piece is more beautiful for having been broken.
My blog stands as a witness to my Kintsukuroi moments. Rather it stands as my broken pottery repaired with gold.

The word has been suggested by Sri (Sridevi Datta) who blogs here at Bhelpuri Unlimited. Thank you so much Sri.


Special Mention: 

  • Corinne who blogs here at Everyday Gyan. This year blogging would not have been this much glorious without her efforts and best wishes. In terms of writing and blogging, this has been my best year. Thank you Corry. 
  • Write Tribe


P:S: Subinoy, a good friend of mine has gifted my blog her own domain name. So did you guys notice it? But in the process, I have lost all the Facebook likes and g+1 shares. This makes me sad indeed. Please guide me on how can I restore them back.


Saturday, September 7, 2013

De Madrugada

It was not an ordinary day anymore. Within a flash of second something had just changed. Some kind of magic was there in the air that got hold of us to cast its spell on. I felt it; you too. You knew it; I too. Next, the only thing I remember seeing is the flashes of lights even in the darkness around. And I was lost, the moment your trembling lips touched mine.

Amid the hustle and bustle of the chirping  and cooing of birds, lingering frail scent of something 'morning' in the air, beads of  softest sunlight, and a surprising faint trail of vehicles passing us; suddenly in those mysterious minutes  we stole and sealed our moments of togetherness inside an auto that drove us through the bumpy roads of Saket to drop me home.

I wanted it; you too. And we did it.

In those two minutes I saw the moon, the stars and the sun together. I felt the power of the Cosmos within; from me it spreading its wings to you and then finally settling within us.

No kisses afterward could ever recreate the same magic. I still live it in my many memories and imaginations; and in the hearts of my heart the feeling it evokes is something that is beyond my ability to express in words. Words are still not fortunate enough to express these sweet nothings of life and everything that the heart feels and desires.

#Whlist1: That kiss. That very 1st kiss that we shared together. I want to live that for one more time. For real. And for real. I know that certain things can never be recreated and hence there lies the magic of it.


Madrugada(n) (Spanish):It means the time between midnight and dawn. It simply means early morning/dawn
De Madrugada: At dawn.
Lethologica: When you can't think of the word for something.


I am taking part in The Write Tribe Festival of Words 1st - 7th September 2013.

My Theme: To write on seven words that

  • We/I don't hear generally 
  • Preferably Non-English words that are untranslatable in English 
  • Let's see, how can I include more varieties. 
  • And in the process to self-discover myself. 
 Let me know what do you think about my choice of theme for this Seven days of Writing Festival.

Word suggestions are highly welcomed. So com'on bring it on. :)

P.S: This write-up was originally written on 25th July'13. It was just a scribble entry on my phone and I wanted to rewrite it before I post but due to time constraint and lack of creativity I am posting it as it is by making just a minor change to suit it to the theme and title of my post

  • One of the lines was originally written as 'Amid the hustle and bustle of trails of vehicles passing us, that late evening we stole and...'
  • In the draft copy the title of the post was Stolen Moments of Togetherness.

Write Tribe

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Wordy-Nerdy Pree

I am not able to write anything. My Muse is on leave and even after spending around two hours, I am unable to write. I have one Scintilla in mind which is not letting me to sleep but I guess it is still not the right time for it to take shape in words. But I promise to myself that I am going to do it soon. Unlike before I am not dumping my visions and ideas in the backyard of my heart anymore. Please wish me luck.

I am guilty of not writing my Day 4 post and more guilty of not being able to visit much blogs. My sincere apologies to you all and I promise that I will be visiting your blogs soon. After idling around for months, my life has suddenly become super fast and busy, and this had to happen in the mid of the Festival, sigh!

I am touched and overwhelmed beyond words by seeing the huge response and appreciation my Theme and the posts have received. Now all those sleepless nights I have spent writing them even amid neck-breaking work loads and health issues seems totally worthwhile. I thank each and every one from the bottom of my heart.

I am half asleep already, and my thoughts aren’t in synch with my body but as I don’t want to miss another day, I have decided to go easy on myelf by listing few things about me albeit in my wordy-nerdy style.

1. I am a Bibliophile (n) the lover of books. But off late I am guilty of 積ん読 i.e. Tsundoku (n.)(Japanese) the act of buying books and not reading them and/or letting books pile up unread on shelves or floors or nightstands.

2. I often suffer from Drapetomania: an overwhelming urge to run away. This word has a sad history behind it. It's a term derived in the slave days and was used to describe the "disease" in which the symptoms were "a slave that was addicted to attempting escape or escaping slavery..."

In my case, my heart and mind are always in the need of a holiday. And where does is want to go? of course to misty magical magnanimous mountains.

3. Tucked inside my heart are many Swevens (n) a vision seen in sleep; dream. And strangely all my swevens are related to a book or two I might pen in future. Will I? Who knows. And many if my posts here the the blog are a result of the swevens.

4. I am no doubt a Logastellus (n) a person whose love of words is greater than the knowledge of words. But off late I am turning fast towards Legolepsy, A fascination or obsession with words. And I am going nuts over Eutony, the pleasantness of a word’s sound.

5. I have this Scintilla of a story from one such non-english word. But i am not yet able to give it a shape with my words. Soon soon, pretty soon. Scintilla means a tiny, brilliant flash or spark; a small thing; a barely visible trace.

6. The most beautiful word that I learnt today is Aisling (n) a vision or a dream; an Irish poetic genre where Ireland appears to the poet in the form of a beautiful woman.

 7. No matter what I will always believe in Meliorism, the belief that the world gets better; the belief that humans can improve the world. Because we all have Orenda in us i.e. a mystical force present in all people that empowers them to affect the world, or to affect change in their own lives. Yes I just have proved this to myself. Yay!!

Phew!! That’s it for today.

Questions of the day,

1. Is there any genre where a country/city/town appears to the poet/writer in the form of a handsome and intelligent man?

2. Share with me your one Velleitie (n) a wish or a powerful desire for something that nonetheless is not or cannot be followed by actions meant to pursue it.

I can see a lot of things related to Dreams and Visions here. A news to me it is. I guess I am on the right track!

P.S: Please pardon mistakes and typos in this post. 

 I am taking part in The Write Tribe Festival of Words 1st - 7th September 2013. 

 My Theme: To write on seven words that 

  • We/I don't hear generally Non-English words 
  •  Preferably words that are untranslatable in English 
  •  Let's see, how can I include more varieties. 
  •  And in the process to self-discover myself. 
 Let me know what do you think about my choice of theme for this Seven days of Writing Festival. 

 Word suggestions are highly welcomed. So com'on bring it on. :)

Write Tribe

Tuesday, September 3, 2013


And then mamma I was dragged there by my collars. It was a huge room with stars all around. I have never seen so many stars before. 

But then baby, don’t you know stars reside only in the sky? 

And that’s why I was scared mom, and you know I could even touch them. 

Oh! I see! So did not your fingers get burnt? 

Umm…. I do not remember that. Did it? But mom, that’s not important. 

Ok! My darling, then what is it that’s important? Tell me sweetheart!

You interrupt so much that I tend to forget. Now shhh… and listen to me. 


There he was…. An alien with horns. 

An alien with horns? Eh? 

That’s what! A huge pair of horns and blinking red eyes. 

But that’s how ghosts look like and not aliens! No? 

But mom ghosts don’t keep remotes to close the spaceship's door. Or do they? 

So it was some hi-tech ghost you mean, right? 

And he had a spaceship. You know mom … lights like this coming out of it. I was scared and I closed my eyes. I wanted to shout. Shout out loud. But before I could, he abducted me. He, the alien. Like it happens in the TV. 

And as soon as the audio recorder stopped with the sobbing sound of the child, the parents looked up at the psychiatrist for his much awaited verdict. They were bemused at the story but the slight marks that were present on various body parts of the child had definitely made them worried. 

Paracosm it is, the doctor told them. A child’s mind is very imaginative, he continued, and it often lands them in their world of fantasy. As they are too young and innocent, they cannot differentiate between the two worlds. But there is nothing to worry about as with age it eases up. 

But what about the body marks, doctor? They are of course not left by some imaginary alien! 

Not at all! She must have hurt herself while imagining things. Remember that they cannot differentiate between the two worlds and unfortunately many a time end up hurting themselves. For them their la-la land is for real. Make sure she does not have access to harmful and sharp objects and better I advice you to not leave her alone, lest she harms herself again. 

But she is scarred and ends up crying after telling her story? What to do about that? 

Hmm, in the next session bring her along. I will...... 


Meanwhile, back at her cousin’s place, li’l Diksha was again abducted by that hi-tech alien. All of five, the poor child could not differentiate between the real stars and the glow-in-the-dark ones. The alien this time took extra care to leave no such marks on her petite body. While she was too scared to even attempt at making a feeble cry, he, his uncle kept on devouring her to satiate his filthy desires. While the khol mixed tears smeared her face, this way it was much easier for him to trample her innocence in the garb of paracosm. 


"A paracosm is a detailed imaginary world, or fantasy world, involving humans and/or animals, or perhaps even fantasy or alien creations. Commonly having its own geography, history, and language, it is an experience that is often developed during childhood and continues over a long period of time: months or even years.Source: Wikipedia

I am taking part in The Write Tribe Festival of Words 1st - 7th September 2013. 

My Theme: To write on seven words that 

  • We/I don't hear generally 
  • Preferably Non-English words that are untranslatable in English 
  • Let's see, how can I include more varieties. 
  • And in the process to self-discover myself. 
 Let me know what do you think about my choice of theme for this Seven days of Writing Festival. 

Word suggestions are highly welcomed. So com'on bring it on. :) 

Write Tribe

P.S: I am not too happy with today's work as my muse simply refused to work and after much nudge this is what my muse led me to.

Monday, September 2, 2013


Something suddenly pricks the heart, exactly right there where it happens to carry the feeling called saudade. A surge of indescribable pain and a heavy mist of worthless longings fill the room, surpassing every other feeling that resides there. The heart knows that the reality is different and accepts the harsh veracity that these longings will forever remain futile. The loss is too big to be ever filled by anything else; perhaps too close as well.

Brick by brick, the world turns concrete
Word by word, I still keep you alive
The surge, the pain, and the futile longings
Glints of bliss embedded within.

Misty mornings and the autumn leaves
The golden, the barren; merged in soil
Watered in tears and in silence.
In words, in clutters, and emptiness.

How not to love you; I find it hard
Why to hold on, I know not
Life goes on, over the rail tracks
With box full of memories tugged along

Ways of heart, O! How to comprehend
Tenho saudades tuas, it is the love that remains
"saudade [saw-oo-da-ji] (Noun) is a Portuguese and Galician word that has no direct translation in English. It is a deep emotional state of nostalgic or deeply melancholic longing for something or someone that was loved and then lost, with the knowledge that it or they might never return; “the love that remains”.
It brings sad and happy feelings all together, sadness for missing and happiness for having experienced the feeling. In Portuguese,
"Tenho saudades tuas" (European Portuguese) or "Tenho saudades de você" (Brazilian Portuguese), translates as "I have saudade of you" meaning "I miss you", but carries a much stronger tone. In fact, one can have saudade of someone whom one is with, but have some feeling of loss towards the past or the future.  
Saudade is seventh most difficult word to translate of all words in all languages and thus is, unsurprisingly, untranslatable.  
Interestingly in Brazil, a Suadade Day is celebrated and the official Saudade Day is on January 30" Source: Wikipedia

 I have saudade of many things. And I have tried to list seven of them here in this post.

1. My maternal Grandparents: Unfortunately I didn't have the luck to grow up in their laps for certain familial reasons. But whatever time I have spent, were priceless. My heart longs for them, for their love, care, and the innumerable rajkahinis. I wish I had them a li’l more.

 2. Bicycle: No matter how big I grow up this acute urge to go to school riding my own Ladybird with books and bunch of flowers in its front basket can never leave my soul alone. My heart cries to realize that I never got this chance to fulfill this dream. This unfulfilled desire follows me relentlessly.

Read my poem  Bicycle Stories. ~incomplete .

 3. Yellow Butterfly: I was very small back then. And there she was fluttering on the floor, the smallish butterfly I have ever seen. Bright yellow in color. My mother and sister woke me up so that I can look at it. I saw and it was an instant love. I don’t know what hit me; I cupped my hands over it, lest it flies away. The yellowish powder from its wings were stuck on my palm. And there she was-DEAD. In my innocence to protect it, I killed it. The guilt remains and unlike that yellow butterfly it refuses to die. I have loved it with all my heart. Now the love and the guilt follow me together.

4. Bayzid: My closest friend from school, who one day left me just like that. Not even a note he left for me. Why? May be someday he will come back to answer.

 5. My Diary and that sketchbook: I was never into diary writing. But I had one diary which was filled with scribbling, doodles, and yes stickers and stick-stones. There I had written one epic love letter (Anthony Gonsalvis to her Roopmati), using titles of many Hindi cinemas. It was my top notch piece of fiction letter and as it was written in those days when I had yet not taken up writing, was very close to my heart. Somehow it got leaked and I am proud to say that it made me quite famous in school and even my teachers could not resist smiling while reading it. About my sketchbook, well I can still visualize those strokes of pencils. The one that was my favorite was the one where I had sketched myself. I was sitting on bed with my legs stretched straight and the sketchbook on my lap. From my feet, I started to sketch myself and reached up to my neck and then there was some errand bunch of hair.

I don’t sketch any more. Nor do I decorate the pages of my diary. Sigh!

6. Pets: The love and bond I shared with them have surely surpassed the time. I pray wherever they are, they stay good.

7. Green Crocodile: I was never a doll person, nor did I ever like the extravagant toys. Rather I love small toys that we can find on traffic signals and in small toy-stores. The story dates back to my college days when I had crossed the age of playing with toys. One day my aunt bought this crocodile for his son. But the moment I saw it I knew it was mine. I did not cared a bit about my cousin's feeling and grabbed hold of it. It was meant to be mine forever and it was mine. Green in color; it used to crawl when the key was churned on. While crawling, its mouth used to open and close in perfect rhythm. The handle of the key was also in the shape of a crocodile; a smallish green crocodile. Then on one day, I found it broken. Needless to say my heart broke too.

I found the same toy in Haridwar, but my mom didn't buy it for me, saying that she will buy it from the next shop as the quality here is tad bad. Next, in no toy shop it was available. Few months back, I found a similar toy which was being sold in the traffic light area of Chirag Delhi. It was big in size and was multicolored. Again I Could not buy it.

Till date my heart and my eyes search for that green crocodile in every toy store. No luck yet. Sigh!

This list is in-exhaustive and I chose not to write about certain people and things.

I am sorry for a very long post again. I could not control my feelings. Who knew that this festival and this theme will let me discover myself?

Today I heartily celebrated my 1st official Saudade Day. 


Now dear readers, if you are still reading, do tell me what do you have saudade of? May you all celebrate a bit of your Saudade Day too,  right here in MyWhiteWindow


I am taking part in The Write Tribe Festival of Words 1st - 7th September 2013.

My Theme: To write on seven words that
  • We don't hear generally 
  • Non-English words 
  • Words that are untranslatable in English 
  •  Let's see, how can I include more varieties. 
  • And in the process to self-discover myself.

Let me know what do you think about my choice of theme for this Seven days of Writing Festival. 

Word suggestions are highly welcomed. So com'on bring it on. :)

Write Tribe

Look what I found while researching for Saudade, a beautiful collection of songs from an album called Saudade. Listen to them here at  http://www.stereomood.com/activity/saudade#

Sunday, September 1, 2013


"Meraki [may-rah-kee] (adjective) This is a word that modern Greeks often use to describe doing something with soul, creativity, or love — when you put “something of yourself” into what you’re doing, whatever it may be. Meraki is often used to describe cooking or preparing a meal, but it can also mean arranging a room, choosing decorations, or setting an elegant table. 

There is no English equivalent for this word. Meraki is, unsurprisingly, untranslatable."

May-rah-kee! Did I pronounce it right? I love it how my head swings left and right while I sing-song the Greek word may-rah-kee.

One fine day, I found this beautiful word on Facebook and it took me no second thought to share it on my Timeline. As fast I shared it, I moved ahead with other things on Facebook. In my daily life I easily get bored and then head towards all those thoughts that suggest me how I am wasting my life by living a pretty mundane and monotonous life. I am a big time procrastinator and the after-effects of it kill me bit by bit every day. Past couple of months were difficult. What made it worst is the fact that I was insecure and I even lost my sleep in the hands of regular nightmares.

A mail from him was waiting in my inbox. It was just a line or two and written in response to one of the posts I have shared on my Timeline. Initially I was upset to find such a smallish mail as he was writing to me after a gap of two days.

You might have shared it just like that but subconsciously you must be aware that this is how you are. But let me reiterate it to you in loud and bold letters....this is how you are...this is how you love to do things for those whom you love... this is how you do things that are close to your heart... you put all your heart, soul, creativity, and love. In a nutshell you put ‘something of yourself’ in the things you do... and this is exactly how you love me too. Yes I am talking about the word MERAKI and for me the symbol of Meraki is no one but you... yes you, my Greek Goddess. :D
Rest all is fine and the ship ain't rolling no more. :) 

It would be an understatement to say that the mail made me happy. It was much beyond the thing called happiness. I wondered is it really true? I happen to be a person who highly underestimates herself and thus is harsh on herself most of the time. With a mug of hot lemon tea spiced with cinnamon, I realized that may be he has exaggerated the whole thing but whatever he has written holds ample amount of truth too.

I am just an ordinary girl with some above average talents but yes, I realized that I do them exactly the way he has mentioned. I am by nature an introvert and my social circle is very limited. But those I love, I love with all my heart and soul. Yes, it is true. And it made me feel at the top of the world.

I have tried to list few things that I do with Meraki. There are many more but the top few are here in the list below:

Well can you guess them by looking at the pictures???

1. Writing: I am sure the day I and my writings are no longer together, I would be as good as a dead body, may be worse than that. I know, I can’t churn write-ups after write-up yet and that I frequently take long breaks, and yes truth be told that I procrastinate a lot too; but writing makes me what I am, even though my writing abilities are very mediocre and it is seldom that I am happy/satisfied with them. I don’t know who and how I will be if I were never this close to weaving words. I don’t even want to imagine a life like that. Along with the way I love my people, if there is something else where I am true to myself and pour my heart and soul in to it, it has to be Writing. My words reflect the real me. The things that even I am not aware about myself are weaved through my words. I am thankful to God for blessing me with the ability to write, to write with Meraki.

 2. If you are my person, I will love you and be there for you in every thick and thin. I would cook for you, weave words for you, and yes my gifts to you will always contain something handmade. I know there are few people who can vouch for it. And from them only I have learnt that, I do take time to come close, but once you are my person, love and compassion come easy to me. Meraki it is. Isn’t it?

3. Cooking: I seldom cook. But when I do, I put my heart into it. It is pure ‘meraki’ when I cook for my dad. And it would be so when I would occasionally cook for him in future.

4. Paper and paper works and of course colours: I am a passionate Quiller. I love the fact that just by rolling a strip of paper, how wonderfully I can let my creativity loose. If I am found quilling, it is sure that I must have lost track of time and place and nothing could make me come out of my reverie till I finish doing it. Just like me he is totally into origami and I too would pick it up soon.

5. Peepal leaf paintings: I got hooked to it when I was in high school and since then I am mad about it. I learnt it on my own. The extremely pungent procedure can never drive me away, even when my whole family is ready to kill me. 

These handmade things then form a formidable part of my gift packages to the people I love. If you are my person, sooner or later you would receive something hand made from me along with few written words.

6. Losing myself in the lap of hill-station: I do that with elan and with complete meraki. I wish that one fine day I will have my very own wooden cottage in the solitude of misty nature, green valleys, lines of pine tress, cascading waterfalls, sky full of twinkling stars, color splashed sunrise and sunset, piping hot soups, and majestic snow-capped mountains. 

7. The way I love my Soulmate: No amount of words, exquisite or plain, can never to justice to this and hence I surrender.

Meraki! This is how I share myself with myself and to those whom I love and to my readers via my blog. I leave a piece of myself behind with the hope that its presence will be forever there for you to feel. I want to linger in your good memories and wish to be your smile in your dry and rainy days. This is how I want to live on.


I am taking part in The Write Tribe Festival of Words 1st - 7th September 2013.

My Theme: To write on seven words that
  • We don't hear generally
  • Non-English words
  • Words that are untranslatable in English 
  • Let's see, how can I include more varieties.

Let me know what to you think about my choice of theme for this Seven days of Writing Festival.

Write Tribe